Category Archives: Fatherhood

Grateful

From Tahoe series

I had an interesting experience the other day. I am trying to get back in shape, having gained some weight over the last few years. Not too much, but enough to make a difference in my health. Anyway, I started playing basketball again. It’s been at least 5 years.  I play after work and usually change clothes off site. This can get a little hectic.

The place that I play is a church gym.  They rent it  out.  We play on Fridays.  On Fridays, they also have a feed the homeless dinner going on.  It is kind of different in that this neighborhood is kind of upscale, and there are generally more yuppies than street people.  Anyway, it’s nice that they do something for the regular people.  On this particular Friday, I ended up working late, and was rushing so I decided to change clothes at the gym.

I go into the gym’s bathroom and there is a guy a little older than me there — in a good mood.  I say hello and he tells me that he tells me that he is happy because he just took a shower and the water was hot.  Someone had left a razor there, so he was able to shave.  He left some extra soap for the next guy, to keep the good karma going I guess.

It really made me think about my situation and the things that I take for granted, like the ability to have a hot shower whenever I want.  I also tripped because this guy was Caucasian and I’m not – and society is telling me that I supposed to be the one struggling.  I’m not sure if this means that I made it, or what?

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Brother with a baby

I had this recurring experience when my daughter was less than a year old.  I was working part time and we spent a lot of time going to the park, running errands, or whatever. I remember one time crossing the street by Lake Merritt.  I think that my daughter was in her stroller.  I was kind of struggling to get over the curb or something.  Some car stopped to let us cross.  I looked up to acknowledge the kind gesture.  It was a slightly older brother who was just beaming from ear to ear and waving happily at us.  He was proud to see me doing what I was supposed to be doing.

Another time, I was carrying her down the sidewalk of a main street.  I got just big deep smiles from so many different people.  Whenever we would go places, I got the same reaction.  Babies do that to people.

It really should be no big deal, but from my perspective as an African American male — it was very difficult from the typical purse clutching, avoiding eye contact, and crossing street interaction that made up my previous existence.  It really did change my life.

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